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My Own Private Truman Dog Shit Show
Posted by
onI live on a very busy road so I take my dogs to walk at a “gated open to the public golf course community”.
My first clue after walking them there for years was when the no - imagination HSA director( how is it that they are always retired rent-a-cops?) followed me after seeing my diarrhea filled dog assume the position with no results. He scolded me for not picking up and played the “ I really should not allow you to be here at all” card.
A few weeks later when I attempted to throwaway my picked up bag of shit, he snuck up behind me and told me not to put it in that can cause it “stinks”.
This week a chain stretched across the public parking entrance at the golf course so you could not park there.
You’d think they’d had a onslaught of humans walking their dogs and shit was piling up causing disease.
I’m the only one in the whole damn four miles of Stepford homes that even walks their dogs.
Apparently it’s not an open set.

Camels Disqualified for Using Botox
In Saudi Arabia, they have a Miss Camel Pageant. ( or maybe Mr.?)This week twelve were disqualified because their owners hired doctors to inject botox into their wrinkles.Camels are judged on their size, hump, droopy lips and “large features”.Millions are available as prize money.Meanwhile, the women are covered in black birkahs.Ironic.The camels are forced….women like [...]

Al Franken Will Return
Listening to “Giant of the Senate”, the latest book by the now former Senator from Minnesota.Interesting and funny as read by the author, it provides insight on the strength it took to straddle 40 years as an edgy comic writer and a move into politics, where anything remotely funny is fated for what Franken calls, [...]

To Vowel or not to Vowel
After an early morning pick me up and twenty minutes of Doggy Dance Play ( Beats headphones with tunes of your choice, an old stinky stuffed animal, two dogs.Blast the music in, dance and pretend that the slobber covered “thing” in your hand is flying and trembling like a butterfly, throw) They like it better [...]

The One Dance Move You Need To Know From Barack Obama
The One Dance Move You Need to Know From Barack ObamaDon’t miss the Letterman talk show on Netflix if you are a fan of President 44.Not a political conversation, Obama offers sage advice in four words on your dance moves, and reveals personal antidotes in his sincere style, a refreshing bit of nostalgia in these [...]

Hedy Lamarr and the Cell Phone
I recommend “The Deuce”, the latest offering from the geniuses who created “The Wire” and “Treme”, David Simon, George Pelecanos, and Richard Price.Its also a great history lesson related to the #MeToo movement. The story of women, their sexuality, whoring, pimping, and how women bodies have always been important to their means of employment and [...]

The Christmas Jew-Pac
I’m about to leave the house to pick my husband up at the hospital….he’s had a knee replacement.The UPS man has left three packages on the stoop.One is the “Jew-Pac”.What is a Jew-Pac?The term was coined by a friend long ago.He was visiting when the original Jew-Pac arrived back in ’87.It was a huge box [...]